Living the Good Life Naturally blog

Healing Toxic Gratitude

Written by Kristen Matheson Bowen | Nov 10, 2021 6:40:53 PM

Until we effectively mourn, a part of us remains actively tied to the past. 

 

"Vulnerability is not winning or losing; it's having the courage to show up and be seen when we have no control over the outcome. Vulnerability is not weakness; it's our greatest measure of courage." - Brené Brown

External gratitude allows you to be set free from the experience and moves you forward freely. But, unfortunately, until we effectively mourn, a part of us remains actively tied to the past. It makes moving forward so much harder. 

The more we layer toxic gratitude on top of internal grief, the harder it becomes to see ourselves as we really are. 

Emotions help you see yourself. 

Emotions help you communicate with yourself. 

Emotions help you move forward. 

 

Three Statements That Bury Grief

  • It could be worse
  • This too shall pass 
  • Stay positive 

When you use the above statements, we communicate that our comfort is more important than they are. Toxic gratitude undermines your ability to be resilient. 

 

Five Statements To Allow Us To Mourn Effectively

  • Thank you for trusting me with such a personal and difficult story. 
  • I appreciate the courage it took to share that with me. 
  • What happened to you was not your fault. 
  • I am so sorry you were mistreated. 
  • If you ever want to talk about it, I would love to listen. 

Mourning allows us to free up energy or space that keeps us stuck in the past. Then, after you have done the work, you can experience the kind of gratitude that changes the way magnesium is held in your cells.